Note: This article originally appeared on Medium.
To help children in state care, we must rethink what it means to be ‘normal’
by Krystale Bezio, MSW, LCPAA, is Chief Program Officer at Upbring
Imagine a child has been placed in a loving, stable foster home. They enroll in a new school, make a friend or two, and even start playing on the soccer team. Now they’re just like other kids, right?
Not so fast. The problem with this approach is that it looks at normalcy through others’ eyes, and not the child’s own. What you see on the surface tells you very little about how they are doing on the inside, where healing truly happens.
It’s not uncommon for the general public to have a limited understanding of the child welfare system. According to a 2019 study by the FrameWorks Institute, a mere fraction of media articles and organizational materials (24% and 19%, respectively) shed light on the comprehensive impact of entering foster care, such as a child’s exposure to trauma and the challenges they face in achieving normalcy. This lack of awareness hinders the public’s ability to grasp the true functioning of the system and the dire need for reforms to address the unfair trauma children often endure, sometimes at the hands of those they trust and love.
How did we get here?
First, it helps to understand that normalcy is an important part of the child welfare system — a well-intentioned effort over recent decades to establish standards that allow children in care to participate in more activities like their peers. Sports, clubs and social gatherings are important outlets for exercise, friendships and life skills, which we know contribute to the overall wellbeing of children in care.
At times, the child welfare regulatory environment made it very difficult for children to engage in what we would deem “normal” childhood experiences — for example, requiring a background check before they could attend a sleepover. Gradually, rules were adapted so children in care could join age-appropriate activities safely and more easily. This also helped to ease the unfortunate stigma associated with foster care.
But people outside the system tend to take normalcy at face value. They expect that traumatized children will be like untraumatized children once they leave the child welfare system or reach legal permanency. The truth is, a child in care is not on the same footing as someone who has come from a stable home, who has never faced food or housing insecurity, or who has always enjoyed carefree trips to the movies. Escaping abuse and neglect is only the beginning, and the resulting trauma can’t be resolved by playdates and karate classes. The disproportionately high rates of unemployment, homelessness, incarceration and recidivism among adults who grew up in state care tell us so.
What I want people to understand is this: Everyone wants to feel “normal,” and it can be a wonderful feeling for children in care. But normalcy is only one piece of the puzzle. Trauma is complex and personal, and our approach to healing should be, too.
Opening Doors to Hope and Healing
My organization, Upbring, puts children at the heart of our solutions so we can begin to build toward their wellbeing and resilience. Over the last several years, we have dug deep to reexamine and determine how we can meet their holistic physical, emotional and spiritual needs. One major outcome: Upbring provides individualized case management to the thousands of kids who come into our care each year. We’ve invested the time, funding, clinical staff and training to deliver this wraparound care across our foster care, Head Start preschools, children’s shelters and other statewide programs.
Once a child is safe and their basic needs are met, our work truly begins. We listen to what they want, evaluate their trauma history and past assessments, and talk with previous caregivers when possible. These quantitative and qualitative inputs, combined with Upbring’s over 140 years of experience caring for children in crisis, coalesce into a nuanced intervention plan to help that child move forward with their healing.
Meaningful progress looks different for everyone as they cope with their unique trauma on their own time. Some kids yearn to join clubs and other age-appropriate activities, while others will need intensive therapy before they’re ready to engage. Some students are eager to attend in-person school, while others would do better in a virtual education setting that lets them move at their own pace. We meet them where they are, based on what’s “normal” for them.
Once services are in place, we’ve developed tools to measure fundamental wellbeing metrics, such as distress levels and relationship health. By constantly evaluating how children are progressing, Upbring doesn’t assume whether children are OK — we can view their progress and adjust as needed.
Yes, a personalized intervention model takes more resources than the typical one-size-fits-all approach to child welfare. But after nearly 20 years in this field, I know in my core that it is the right path forward to break the cycle of child abuse in Texas.